


Discomfort on a Spaceship

by TheTimelessChild0



Series: The Two Doctors [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Desperation, Embarrassment, Episode: s07e02 Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, Post-Episode: s07e01 Asylum of the Daleks, Urination, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21558409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/TheTimelessChild0
Summary: bottom line: the Doctor should've said something sooner.
Series: The Two Doctors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553629
Kudos: 8





	1. Worrying

Rory found the Doctor in the TARDIS pacing. He’d shown up in their house just to check that they were doing well together. Amy was inside the TARDIS too, after surrendering to Rory’s suggestion that she check herself for any other things Demon’s Run did to her body besides infertility. 

_ You don’t want to get Space Chlamydia, _ her husband had warned, ridiculously. 

The Doctor walked around the console, back and forth, frowning. 

“What are you thinking about?” Rory asked. 

“I’m not. I’m worrying,” the Doctor corrected. 

“Alright, what are you  _ worried _ about?” 

“What happened with the Daleks..repeating itself,” the Doctor stated. 

“Oswin erased you from their records. They won’t come after you again,” Rory reminded him. 

The Doctor nodded quickly, and blushed. He lent his hand on the console.

“That’s not the part I’m talking about,” he explained, looking sideways at Rory. 

“Oh..you mean your little..problem,” Rory realised. The Doctor nodded awkwardly. 

“I’ve realised how likely I am to get in such a pickle. Even when I plan to be somewhere nice and quiet, it usually doesn’t last long before I’m imprisoned, or shot at..or both,” the Doctor mentioned. 

“Well, you usually don’t take long to escape,” 

“Again, the Asylum. If Oswin hadn’t helped me, I would’ve been pretty desperate by the time we got to the TARDIS,” the Doctor countered. “My point is; I’ll probably end up needing the loo in the middle of one of our trips, without the TARDIS or knowledge of nearby toilets. As distracted as I get, I’ll end up wetting myself if I don’t find a way to prevent the need altogether,”

“So, you need a way to get to a toilet before it gets too bad, without it risking lives of people we help,” Rory began to understand. The Doctor nodded.

“My bladder isn’t tuned to when trouble appears. Going at reasonable times, while completely relaxed in the TARDIS won’t help. Emergencies will erase those opportunities, beyond my control,” the Doctor explained. 

“I have an idea,” Rory introduced. 

“You managed for a while, because I found out what was wrong, and gave you a tip, for how to  _ hold on _ ,” he retold. 

Rory continued, “If you tell me some subtle and obvious ways I can notice if you need the loo, then I can keep that in mind, and help you while we figure the bigger stuff out,” 

“Okay,” the Doctor accepted it as the only solution. He proceeded to explain his cleverest techniques for hiding his need, which he only used for that purpose. 


	2. Too Late

It wasn’t exactly common practice for the Doctor to ignore his bladder while visiting government agencies, but since it was a quick visit, and it concerned a spaceship heading to earth within less than 10 hours, and he (more importantly) was in the company of an Egyptian queen, he ignored it. The need was probably mostly caused by the excitement with the alien locusts earlier, plus the dry weather of Egypt in the age before air conditioning. 

*************

“I’m going to look at rocks. Love a rock,” the Doctor stated as he walked away. 

While he was scanning rocks, he felt the need to put one hand between his legs, choosing the one not holding his sonic. It registered as metal. Which was a pity, because if he could find a big enough rock, he would’ve gone for a wee behind it. But the rust would reveal it to Brian, and that would _not_ be a good first impression. 

While the Doctor explained why the engine room had an ocean, he was bending his hip in a telltale way.

_Yeah, that water isn't helping, is it.._ Rory thought in sympathy. 

The Doctor hadn’t been worrying about his bladder, but started to, when he heard the kestrels up close. 

They _weren’t_ kestrels. 

Running was the Doctor’s favourite way of escaping, but his bladder put quite a _damper_ on the experience. Especially since the few times he had to take long leaps across the rocks, a few trickles _dampened_ his underpants.

They managed to slip into a small, but long cave. 

“We’re trapped”, Brian noted upon hearing strange clanking sounds getting closer. 

“Dad, that isn’t helping,” Rory shushed his father. 

“Are you alright?” He asked the Doctor. 

“ ‘course, just gotta figure out what could be heading towards us,” the Doctor claimed with confidence. 

The banging grew louder. 

“Actually, I think it can wait,” he amended. 

“Speaking of waiting, how are you ‘holding up’? Or, _in_?” Rory checked. 

The Doctor blushed. “Sparingly well,” he admitted.

Rory patted him on the back, encouragingly. 

“What’s the prognosis?” He had to ask, there was something coming for them.

“6, rapidly turning into a 7,” the Doctor groaned. 

  
  


Two snarky robots appeared. The Doctor squeezed his together tightly, not risking the dreaded “fear leak” again. 

“Did I say rapidly? I meant _instantaneously_ ,” he corrected himself.

The 3 were promptly captured.

* * *

Brian eventually noticed the Doctor was waking quite oddly; slowly and tightly. 

“Something wrong, Doctor?” he asked kindly. 

Rory stepped in quickly and whispered, “he needs the loo”. 

“Oh, bad luck,” Brian comforted the Doctor.

“Hey, why didn’t you go behind the cliffs before the pterodactyls showed up?” Rory asked curiously. 

“There were lots of rocks there,” Brian chirped up. 

“Rocks were made of metal like the floor. It would rust.” 

The Williams’ raised confused eyebrows at the Doctor.

“ _You_ would find out. I didn’t want that, since we’d only just met,” the Doctor explained, hinting at Brian. 

“I wouldn’t be bothered. Everyone’s tinkled on a rock once in their life,” Brian assured him. 

“Or _lives_ ,” Rory corrected.

“I just worried. I don’t really have a good track record with meeting mates’ parents. Two mums slapped me in the face, one grandpa tried to give me a gun..you’re the first _dad_ I’ve met, I wanted to get it right,” the Doctor remarked. 

Brian smiled at the Doctor.

Rory sighed. _There was no other option.._

“I’m sorry, Doctor, you’ll have to ask them,” he advised the Doctor, looking back at their robot captors. 

The Doctor mouthed “what?!” 

“They clearly know their way around the ship. You know you can’t wait until the TARDIS.” Rory pointed out. 

“Always the villains,” he muttered.

“What are you whispering about?” One of the robots interrogated. 

“Nothing mean!” the Doctor calmed him. “Listen I wanted to ask, you know where a lot of the things are on this ship right, clever robot?” he made sure to compliment the robots, they were clearly sensitive. 

“Thank you! Yes, of course, we do. We go anywhere on this ship. _Even when we’re not supposed to.._ ” the robot on the left admitted. 

“Don’t go telling him that!” the other robot scolded him. 

“He’s nice, he won’t tattle to our master, will you?” Robot 1 remarked optimistically. 

“Oh, of course not,” the Doctor promised. 

“Listen, I was just wondering where I might find the toilet,” he explained. 

“Oh, I see. Nature calling. Don’t worry, I’ll show you where it is,” Robot 1 assured him. 

The Doctor walked off with the robot behind him, while the other one guarded Rory and Brian. 

“Can I trust you won’t do something stupid in there?” Robot 1 checked, now back to boss mode. 

“Cross my hearts,” the Doctor bounced on his toes into the bathroom. It was, unsurprisingly, metallic and badly maintained, but the toilet itself in one of the open stalls was sparkly clean. The Doctor spotted a self-cleaning mechanism under the bowl. The distraction led to a pulsing attack from his bladder, forcing him to grab himself as he fumbled with the zipper. 

Nevertheless, he managed to get in position, and sighed in relief as his urine flowed quickly out of him. 

“That.was close,” the Doctor noted quietly to himself. 

_Bit too_ **_late_ ** _as well…_

The Doctor grabbed some paper towels and wiped off as much of the wetness on the front of his trousers as possible. 

“Oh dear, someone didn’t quite make it, did they? You could’ve told us sooner, you know,” the robot reminded him. 

“No, I couldn’t. You weren’t there,” the Doctor snarked. 

“Okay, someone’s not in the mood for talking..” the robot sulked. 

*******

Eventually, they found Amy and her historical assistants. 

“Did you have an accident?” she commented, seeing the faint wet spot on his black trousers. It would’ve been hard to spot, had the Doctor not rubbed paper against it several times. The marks were telltale. 

“Yes.” the Doctor admitted solemnly. 

“He was running from pterodactyls,” Rory came to his defence. 

“Oh, well that’s no shame. Fight or flight reflex,” Riddell stated, understanding.

  
“Actually, Time Lords don’t have that. We _do_ , however, apparently have a reflex that makes you run with your legs apart with a full bladder,” the Doctor remarked.


	3. Advice

The Doctor put the TARDIS in flight toward ancient Egypt. 

“That was why you were running away from me earlier, wasn’t it?” Nefi guessed with a smirk. 

“Yes. I know I probably should’ve just gone in the desert. We were surrounded by sand for most of the fight. They  _ were  _ locusts after all.

Then again,  _ you _ are a queen. I have a thing about queens. They always make me  _ hold it in _ for no reason,” the Doctor noted. 

“You should be around more queens then. There’s a reason it’s called ‘the royal  _ we _ ’. Because we _ do _ ,” she reminded him, walking elegantly out of the TARDIS.

***

“You don’t even like liquorice do you?” Riddell asked, knowingly. 

“Not the African kind,” the Doctor answered. 

“Yeah, me neither. Gets stuck in the back of your teeth. Don’t want that when they’re already  _ floating _ ,” he joked with a smile. 

“Right. I’ll focus on my bladder then,” the Doctor resigned to this advice as well.

“You know, it’s called ‘the plains’ but has plenty of bushes,” he informed the Doctor. 

“Hey, at least that way, I won’t be roped away from you unexpectedly afterwards,” the Doctor agreed.

The End. 


End file.
